Thursday, May 03, 2007

One time I commented to my husband...

...that if he had to pay someone to do everything that I did all week he'd be bankrupt. Turns out I was right.

Stay-at-home moms' work valued at $138K
Associated Press
Last update: May 02, 2007 – 9:57 AM

So I am absolutely sick and tired of feminazis who pretend that women who choose to be a wife and mother (and maybe a small business owner) at home are somehow doing less or less valuable than women who sacrifice their kids, homes, marriages, parents, community and religious obligations on the altar of their careers.

If my husband had to hire someone to do everything that I do, he'd have to hire:
a nanny
a tutor
a personal chef
a personal trainer
a personal shopper
a maid service
a gardener
a laundry service
a handyman
an accountant
a logistics expert
an interior decorator
a nurse for the sick (see also nutritionist/dietician)
a personal secretary/administrator
and an, ummm, "escort"

This, of course, doesn't even include the services women perform for charities, the grandparents (and other extended family), the community, and their congregations every week. That would cost even more if you had to pay someone else to do them.

How many of you guys can afford all that, exactly? That's what I thought. This is what the social contract is all about, class. This social contract is clearly the way that mother nature/evolution/God or whatever you want to call it arranged for women to have and raise children in economic security. It's the barter system par excellence - and women who think they need to have "careers" actually devalue themselves by saying to the world, "I have no value if I don't make money in the corporate world." This is the lie the feminist movement has told them.

Article | posted May 1, 2007 (web only)
The Supergirl Syndrome
Lakshmi Chaudhry

"...The supergirl is the embodiment of the "go-girl" feminism that has become the staple of mainstream coverage, the focus of feel-good stories about female empowerment. Everything a boy can do, this gal can do and more...and maybe even better..."

"...The transmutation of go-girl feminism into the supergirl phenomenon reveals the way in which feminist challenges to gender roles have played out in the world, where our commercialized and still highly gendered culture twists feminist goals into a new set of imperatives. Each successive "wave" of feminism did not radically shift traditional expectations--to be pretty, domestic, maternal, etc.--but simply added to them. The freedom to aspire very quickly becomes the duty to perform, to perfection..."

"...This perverse process of cultural "translation" is inevitable as long as our society--well, our world--devalues women as worthless creatures who need to "earn" respect, love or acceptance by being a hot babe, good mom, school valedictorian, concert pianist, MVP or, preferably, all of the above..."

And what if one of these girls dared to say to their parents, "I just want to be a wife and mother when I graduate from high school. I can go to college later when the children are in school. Then I'll have a good idea of what I really want to do for the last 30 or so years of my life before retirement. Right now I just want to be a mom."

Her parents would faint in the floor. Then they'd have a fit.

This is insanity. What possible good can come from telling girls that their natural instincts to be a wife and mother and the strong natural instinct not to turn your infants over to strangers are "wrong" and need to be corrected? They're not wrong, they're right. Pre-school age children need their mothers to be with them at home. This is the way evolution/mother nature/God designed things to be. And the man's job is to support his family, preferably in a home business where the two can be together but out in the workforce if necessary.

And a man needs to feel needed. Just like women's natural instinct is to make shalom bayit, a man has an inherent need to gain respect and admiration from his peers by his skill, craftmanship, or workplace acumen. A man who has the sneaky suspicion that his wife and family would do perfectly well without him is not a mentally healthy man. Men need the social contract as much as women do. And it's the absolute best arrangement there is for children. Kids need for their fathers to go out and "conquer the world." They need their mothers to be their safe nesting place.

And it's generally not true that women with small kids in daycare are even bringing home any money. Read The Two Income Trap (available used at Amazon for five bucks) and see for yourself. This book was written by economists and accountants and shows that by the time you add up all of the extra expenses of working, including child care, extra car, work clothes, eating out, etc., etc., women who aren't making six figures actually aren't brining in much money at all to the household. Women making less that the upper two figures are actually going out backwards - in reality, when taxes and everything are put into the equation, these women are losing money for their household, not making it. And their kids suffer, some worse than others, but daycare is not what God intended for your child. Daycare causes more harm that good for children, unless their mother is a drug-addicted lazy slob. If that's the case, put her in rehab or call social services. If not, then stop fooling yourself. You're worse off financially with the wife working than staying at home. And your kids need their mother.

Feminists can't wave their magic wands and make 100,000 years of biological evolution disappear, class. Kids need what they need. And it's the parents job to do what's in the kids best interests. The second "me" generation needs to grow up and learn adult responsibilities. And part of that adult mentality is the realization that no, we can't have it all. We have to prioritize and make choices. And when you make the wrong ones, it's not just you who pays - it's your kids, your spouse, your parents, your community, and your congregation.

So men, grow up. Step up to the plate. Women, stop pretending that having your kids raised in herds by badly educated minimum wage earners who wouldn't be there themselves except for the money isn't in your children's best interest. Your kids need you to be at home with them, at least until they are all in school. You chose to have these children, and now you have to put aside the "me" attitude and do what's best for them. That's your real job. So grow up and do it.

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